Valley traditions live on: Spring cleaning and musk ox

ADMIRABLE RESTRAINT - It may be Valley Instinct to take that old washing machine out to the woods and shoot it full of holes.

But hundreds of Valley residents ignored the call and instead dropped their elderly appliances off at the Valley Recycle event this past weekend. Now, instead of littering our woods and highways, these chunks of metal will have a new life not in the landfill, but in recycle heaven. Full truckloads of tires, glass, aluminum cans, and newspapers were collected, along with an amazing collection of empty Corona beer bottles.

VALLEY MISTAKEN FOR HEAVEN - Once upon a time, in the kingdom of heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, Where have you been?

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed down through the clouds, Look, Michael. Look what Ive made.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, What is it?

Its a planet, God replied, and Ive put LIFE on it. Im going to call it Earth and its going to be a great place of balance.

Balance? Michael inquired, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here Ive placed a region of stifling hot temperature, and up there a region of fierce cold. Over there is an area of arid desert, while over there is a lush and humid rain forest.

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a mountainous region and asked, Whats that one?

That is the Matanuska-Susitna Valley in Alaska, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, and abundant wildlife and grassland. The scenery is magnificent and the people who live there are kindhearted, intelligent and humorous. The people from the Valley will care for their community and they will be hard workers. They will be admired by all who come across them.

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, But thats perfection, God. What about balance? You said there would be BALANCE!

God replied wisely, Patience, Michael, patience. Just wait til you see how Ive peppered the Valley with a few careless citizens, some greedy realtors, a couple of bombastic politicians, a full pickup load of loudmouthed rednecks, some messy campers, various rude and reckless drivers, and a handful of trash flingers and lawbreakers.

MOTHERS AND MUSK OX - Its a longstanding Valley tradition to bring Valley Moms and Valley musk oxen together on Mothers Day at the Musk Ox Farm near Palmer. This year was no different. More than 1,200 visitors came to celebrate Musk Ox and Moms despite snow, sleet, wind, rain and general state fair weather.

As families toured the fields and museum, the 49 musk oxen pondered the lengthy summer tourist season ahead of them. (Older, experienced senior musk oxen relaxed and chewed their cuds. They wisely reassured the younger yearlings that tourists are always safe curiosities.) From a distant field, mother musk oxen studied the visitors and admired their long johns and parkas. The musk ox moms kept close this years crop of five brand-new musk ox babies. One more baby is expected, which will bring the farms herd up to 50.

Helen von Ammon, author of Musk Ox Babies of the Far North and Ben Gray, Junior Iditarod musher, were at the farm, along with Bens dogs, Oreon and Kensy. (Ben is hoping to run the Iditarod next year and could sure use some community support in his quest.) Zak Zibrat, local jazz guitarist, played cool jazz in the barn while guests enjoyed matching bones with the musk ox skeleton, touching the qiviut and weighing heavy musk ox horns.

The Musk Ox Colony Barn is big on history, but not on heat. So visitors sipped coffee to stay warm and consumed hundreds of Palmer hot dogs and beef hamburgers.

It was, as always, a fine celebration for human and animal families.

VALLEY TRASH - Cleanups happened all over the Valley this past weekend.

Volunteers worked in Meadow Lakes, the Little Su River, Lazy Mountain and along the Palmer-Wasilla Highway to collect Valley trash and dispose of it properly. Among some of the special finds were a divan, childs tea set, a full unused box of condoms, a lovely fur coat and a black boot.

Sociological comments are always important following a trash cleanup. It appears that more juice is being consumed and trashed than in previous clean-ups. Fewer liquor bottles and beer cans were collected. An increasing number of designer coffee cups were found. Still and all, McDonalds wrappers still win the littering prize, followed smartly by a good showing of Burger King and Subway trash.

PLANNING COMMISSIONERS DO MORE THAN PLAN - Tim Anderson and Cindy Payne of the borough planning commission picked up trash this weekend along the Palmer-Wasilla Highway. Neither live in the area but both know that this major road is used by all and needs to be cared for. They were joined by South Lakes Community Council members, and a full army of Nugens Ranch volunteers.

THE MOUTH WONDERS - Is it true that a candy jar at the borough building sports a sign which reads, This is your borough, protect and defend it.

Is it true that assemblyman Holmes thinks the Valley Recycle Event violates the boroughs junk & trash ordinance?

Is it true that the city of Wasilla will be known as Tree City USA?

Is it true that the Best Little ORE House in the Valley is Roys Ore House, (located inside Klondike Mikes) and they serve up a sweet BLT?

Is it true that a Mat-Su Borough Manifest Clerical Error is actually just a giant screw-up?

Is it true that the hotshot borough legislative lobbyist announced that, Big Lake Library was funded at $793,212 million dollars?

Infamous borough scribe Barbara Hunt puts words in The Mouth every other Friday. If you have questions, tips or suggestions, fax them to 376-8059, to her attention at 352-2277, or mail to 5751 E. Mayflower Ct., Wasilla, AK 99654.