Visitors survive visit to Zombie House to benefit PHS music program

WASILLA — It’s common knowledge Zombies love brains. But did you know they like them roasted in the oven with rosemary to a nice medium rare? Or that zombies eat brains in front of the TV like many living families?

You would if you’re one of the lucky ones to live through a tour of the Zombie Apocalypse Hounted House, a spooky walk through the undead world of zombies at Sportsman’s Warehouse.

Hana Bohman, who’s had part of her face chewed off by another zombie, is the tour guide. During the week, she’s a Palmer High School junior and a member of the symphonic choir. This weekend, she’s set free her undead inner self to help usher in the Halloween season at Zombie House.

The haunted house is put on by Sportsman’s Warehouse, which brings groups in from various Valley schools run the attraction each weekend as a fundraiser. Saturday and today, that means PHS music boosters have the run of the house.

It’s a look at how the other half lives, as Bohman takes children and adults through the woods to an actual zombie house.

“I get to set the tone,” she said. “I’m taking you to my house, so we go through the forest where there’s this lost zombie bride.”

Turns out, zombies live a lot like they did when they were alive. After living through the walk to Bohman’s house, visitors walk through the living room, where a zombie teenager is nearly comatose on a couch in front of a television watching nothing but snow (perhaps not too different from what many living teens do on a typical Saturday).

From there, visitors go through a dark and mysterious maze of halls and curtains until they descend into the dungeon.

“That’s the really scary part,” said Sarah Lecheminant, a freshman choir student and weekend zombie bride.

The first thing visitors encounter is a particularly bad zombie, so unruly he has to be kept in a cage. When he suddenly escapes his cage and chases them, only the chains around his ankles prevents those taking the tour from losing their brains.

“I liked that part the best,” said Marcus Adams, 14, after escaping the house unharmed. “He was the first one to actually chase us. He was kind-of scary, but not really.”

Those escaping that zombie found themselves in the kitchen, where it was confirmed zombies love brains, as a particularly succulent specimen is roasting in the oven.

That’s the way most zombies prefer to cook their brains, said Erin Lamb, a PHS music parent and boosters volunteer.

“I like rosemary on my brains,” she said. “Or, you can put it in the blender and make a smoothie on the go.”

The last leg of the tour is a run through a zombie mental ward, where the most deranged are kept. Many are older zombies, too, said parent volunteer Tami Lecheminant, pointing out some in wheelchairs and using walkers.

“Well, little kids are scared of zombies and old people, so old zombies are pretty scary to them,” she said.

Contact reporter Greg Johnson at greg.johnson@frontiersman.com or 352-2269.

What: Zombie Apocalypse Haunted House

Where: Sportsman’s Warehouse, Wasilla

When: today, noon to 5 p.m.

Cost: $4

Ehow.com contributor Chad Hunter has a helpful checklist of things to do that could improve your chances of survival during a zombie uprising.

• Keep up with the news. Watch television and listen to the radio for first reports. Pay attention to emergency response messages. Keep fresh batteries in your radio. Walkie-talkies can also be helpful to keep in touch with other survivors.

• Stay rural. When the zombies come, they’re likely to target high populations first. But, don’t let yourself become totally isolated, either, in case you do have to face a horde of undead.

• Look for military or law enforcement to help, “provided that civilization hasn’t fallen apart, you may be able to find police or soldiers providing safety and armed protection,” Hunter writes. But be careful, sometimes zombies like to trick the living by posing as emergency responders.

• Be prepared to defend yourself. A gun or machete could be helpful. Hunter reports that shots to the head can sometimes bring down a zombie, but “don’t waste bullets on body shots, as they will prove ineffective.”

• Dress for survival. Don’t try to fight a zombie horde in just your T-shirt. Also, have a cache of non-perishable food ready and grab sleep when you can.

• Most importantly, prepare for any emergency. As Hunter reports, “Most of the time, death by the living dead is a result of careless mistakes and poor planning.”