Watching the geese together in the Mat-Su Valley

Mat-Su Mouth

WASILLA CITY OF TREES -- It was a special and well-earned designation on Earth Day. Despite great amusement, the MOUTH defends the Wasilla Tree City USA proclamation. Indeed, the MOUTH thinks about Wasilla and just automatically thinks about trees. Lotsa trees. Lotsa itty, bitty unborn trees. Don't tell us that Johnny Appleseed could come to Wasilla and not be very, very proud.

There are trees aplenty in Wasilla. They're everywhere. There are clear-cut properties that honor hundreds of past trees. Family trees are extensive. There are decorative, secret trees that are wheeled out for special occasions. There is the nice big tree near Nunley play park. There is the fine old tree by the museum. There are memorial trees planted along Swanson Avenue. There's lots of trees in Wasilla. And there could be more. Trees could be painted on the sides of ugly buildings. Cardboard sculpted trees could be placed near the highways. There is a landscaping ordinance. There is a promise to spend two bucks per resident on trees -- that's thousands of dollars for trees. Go trees. Go Wasilla.

GEESE GOOD FOR VALLEY -- It's a dirt road off the Glenn Highway, next to the overflow. Zillions of geese are resting there. They preen and squawk and prepare to fly on to unfrozen areas. This is all very nice nature. But what is best is the respectful watchers. There are construction guys, tow truck guys, big rig guys, office workers, senior citizens, children and people in fleece. Everyone is quiet. No politics. No commentary. All these people are just watching the geese together.

WELCOME TO CORE, ALASKA -- This is the newest name of the core center of the Valley. Specifically, this is the heavily populated area between Palmer and Wasilla. Some think this area should be the metropolis of Colony. Colony, Alaska. But that is just a bit too schoolish for namers. Instead it is the core of the valley that has offered up its name. Core, Alaska. A lovely name for a lovely place.

MEET THE JUDGES, OH-SO-EXCITING -- Well, it wasn't the judges exactly. It was the Palmer hall of justice on "Meet the Judge" day. First of all there were all those sporting bumper stickers stuck on cars in the parking lot. Bumper stickers like "Ruger Lover," and "My son can beat up your honor student." There was one bumper sticker that read, "I Love Animals; They're Delicious." And there were more raggedy flags than you could count. The second wave of excitement came with the personalized security check at the door. It was like you were boarding an airplane at Ted Stevens International Airport. But the most exciting thing was the audience questions to the judges. Some of the public's submitted questions never made the cut; they were screened and rejected. Nonetheless, the MOUTH knows these 15 questions beg for answers. They're printed here for your reading pleasure:

1. What do you wear under your robe?

2. Is a hammer your favorite tool?

3. What do you read behind the bench?

4. How do you stay awake during boring moments?

5. What is your "coffee of choice?" Do you like deviled eggs?

6. Do you like crossword puzzles?

7. Do you like long or short sentences?

8. What happens if you don't look good in black?

9. If you could have art on the courtroom walls, what would you choose?

10. If you could have background music selections what would you choose?

11. Do you have a professional nickname?

12. Do your children stand up when you walk through the living room?

13. Have you ever broken the law?

14. Have you ever thought about going into real estate?

15. How do you use the bathroom, while wearing a robe?

MARTIN MAKES THE CIRCUIT -- No doubt about it; Martin Buser is the hero. And he shares his Iditarod win with the whole Valley. He is also showing off his voter registration card now. He says, "I now have ammunition in my wallet." His voter registration card has an "R" on it. He explains the "R" doesn't stand for Republican; it stands for registered voter. Martin led the Pledge of Allegiance by saying, "I proudly pledge Allegiance…" It was a sweet sight. What wasn't quite so cute was the number of wannabee politicians cuddling up to Martin. Everyone anxiously wants their picture taken with "the hero." Come election season, you may see many Martin pics on campaign brochures.

The MOUTH wonders:

Is it true that the Mat-Su Assembly authored the word, "expeditionally?" This is a cross between exponential and expeditious.

Is it true that assembly member Ladere was cautioned to keep her buffalo out of town on Earth Day?

Is it true that a large bag of cash was found at the recent One Stop Recycle event?

Is it true that the most popular vehicle at the One Stop Recycle event is a Subaru?

Is it true that both assembly members Ladere and Simpson actually lost their places in the meeting agenda?

Barbara Hunt is a local writer and listener. The Mat-Su MOUTH is in its sixth year and is printed twice a month, more or less, depending on the Valley buzz. The MOUTH may be reached at e-mail address bhunt@alaska.net. MOUTH contributions and submittals may be dropped off, mailed, or faxed to the MOUTH c/o The Frontiersman. Good taste is required and confidentiality will be respected.