We are not the first

In 1966, my grandmother Ruby Pettijohn experienced the tragedy of losing her daughter Robin Faye Pettijohn in a house fire in Anchorage, Alaska. Robin had a twin named Ada, and they were the last of Ruby’s ten children. Robin was only three and a half years old when she died.

The fire was completely unexpected. It began in the dryer downstairs. Ruby had stayed home from church that day with four or five sick children. Mrs. Hall, a good friend, was visiting with two of her own. They were doing laundry, bathing their kids, and talking. Robin was in the bath upstairs with Tamy Hall, and the rest of the kids were in the front room. I’m told the fire was fast. Ruby and Mrs. Hall saw fire billowing up the stairwell. They quickly gathered the children in the front room and rushed out front door. Good neighbors who had seen the fire were there. There was an explosion, and Ruby tried to go back for the girls. The neighbors held her back, the house an inferno. Tragically, Robin and Tamy died of smoke inhalation.

Tamy and Robin were buried together. I recently discovered this picture of their shared tombstone and was deeply moved by the loving gesture. It was such a profound loss.

Robin’s twin Ada grew up. She loved music, Ruby would sing to her. One of Rubies favorite songs to sing was, “Count your many blessings:”

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Count your many blessings name them one by one, count your many blessings see what God has done.”

When Ada was 14, she was diagnosed with Leukemia. My mother says she died in the same year.

Of such tragedies, Gordon B. Hinckley said, “Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.” (Deseret News, 12 June 1973, p. A4.)…Stormy weather occasionally hits every household. Connected inevitably with the whole process is much of pain—physical, mental, and emotional. There is much of stress and struggle, of fear and worry. For most, there is the ever-haunting battle of economics. There seems never to be enough money to cover the needs of a family. Sickness strikes periodically. Accidents happen. The hand of death may reach in with dread stealth to take a precious one. But all of this seems to be part of the processes of family life. Few indeed are those who get along without experiencing some of it. It has been so from the beginning” (Gordon B. Hinckley: What God has joined together).

You will not be the first to walk through tragedy in your life or family. Your response will affect your life and your family. The apostle James taught, “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him (James 1:2-4,12).

If we “let patience have her perfect work,” we allow our trials to shape us into better people. And what should we be patiently waiting on? The enabling power of God that comes to each of us when we humbly turn to him for help. Because of the loving sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we can have faith that there is no heartache, no sorrow, no trouble or affliction that the love of God cannot heal and turn to our profit and good. We can be patient in Gods timing for this to happen in our lives.

My grandmother was deeply loving, extraordinarily kind, and exceptionally compassionate. I believe she let Christ help her through her tragedies and sorrows. Her example is the result of a lifetime of faith and belief in Christ’s help and love.

It’s only through Christ that we can hope to become more perfect: more entire, more loving, more patient. We were meant to have trouble and trial, and God gave us a Savior’s help. With his strength, he can wipe away all the tears of our eyes. We can let Christ have his perfect work in us. So when you are discouraged thinking all is lost, count you’re many blessings. Count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it may surprise you what the Lord has done.

James Jimenez was born in and raised in Alaska. He is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served a mission in the Philippines. He attended BYU and UAA, earning a degree in Medical Laboratory Science. He is married, has three boys, and currently works at Mat-Su Regional Laboratory.