We can find wonderful friends by looking beyond age and disability

Nelly sat in my office with her husband Horace. I could see instantly she suffered a significant stroke. Apparently she woke up with weakness on her left side and a facial droop. They had decided to wait a few days to see if the problem would resolve on its own and when it did not she found her way to my office to establish care. They were both in their 80s.

As a doctor, I meet many people and get to participate for a short while in their lives. Some of these people become my friends and teach me about life and happiness. Nelly and Horace are some of the first ones to become family friends.

They got the wild hair to move from Maine to Alaska to live closer to family while they were in their 70s. Horace drove the whole way and he said that the moving truck had so much play in the steering column that it was like herding cats down the road. He learned to drive in the Army during World War II, he was even the driver for General Eisenhower on one occasion, so he felt pretty confident with his skill set. Though nothing could be done about her stroke, their love for each other was impressive. It was interesting to see them interact. With her stroke, her speech was less than clear and over the years Horace couldn’t hear a lick, but they would sit and talk for hours. Nelly would laugh at him and he would laugh at her. When she was admitted to the hospital Horace never left her side; she was his queen. Years later when Horace was splitting wood (yes at 92 years old) a piece hit the ground, bounced up and hit him in the head causing blood on the brain. It required surgery and after that Nelly made sure he wore his green bicycle helmet to cut wood. She would giggle as he walked around the yard with that helmet, moving wood with that Kermit green headgear on.

They lived the simple life in a Quonset hut with no TV or satellite and their sole source of heat being wood. We began to visit with them, as a whole family. Even my sister from out-of-state got in on the action. Simple acts of cutting wood, setting up the Christmas tree, bringing meals, bringing wood into the house and many other things brought happiness to my family. They became extended great-grandparents as Nelly would tell stories about her and Horace and laugh as she would retell their tales of life. They were some of the first people in Maine to use snow machines and managed a remote hunting lodge. She even held the state record for the largest trapped beaver for several years. They were one of a kind and Nelly had a gift of telling stories through her stroke. It was a great lesson for my kids to appreciate these two people for who they were and not look at them as old, wrinkled, washed up people. Unfortunately, this happens in society far too often. We glance at something or someone and quickly swipe left and move on without a second thought.

Horace and Nelly had a strong belief in Christ. Horace developed it first during WW II, a time that caused many to search out who they were and where they fit in the great plan of happiness on this earth. Nelly was more of a wild child, but she grew closer to the Lord as she raised her two sons and as her body could not keep up with the desires of her mind. In their home, the weathered Bible was the most used book in the house. Horace had a gift of finding a scripture to help with any situation. He was obviously a man who had spent time in the Good Book, trying to become the better part of himself and not yield to the temptations of the natural man. On one occasion, I was chatting with him about a particularly rough week. I had diagnosed three people with cancer and lost one patient to cancer who was younger than 50. My heart was heavy with what I could do to lessen the burden of these three good people and the young family who lost their father. He immediately grabbed his Bible and turned to 1 Thessalonians 4:13, 16-17 “But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout…and the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air; and so shall we ever be with the Lord.”

He had found just the scripture to answer the questions of my heart that day. It was not an area of the Bible I would normally turn to for answers as I love to read the Gospels first. However, at that day and at that time, Horace had been my answer to my heartfelt desires.

Horace is still around; he recently turned 101 and you can still find him in the valley, minus the green helmet. He still loves to chat, his memory is not as sharp as it used to be, however his love and desire to be the best he can is still there. May we take a moment to reach out and listen to an old friend or perhaps make a new friend and exhibit Christ-like qualities this next week.

Dr. John Boston is a local physician and volunteers for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Assistant Director of Public Affairs in the Wasilla Stake