We can forgive perfectly through Jesus Christ

Forgiving can seem a little tricky. I want to say forgiving is complex, but in reality Jesus Christ makes it perfect. When Jesus taught that we should forgive seventy times seven, I think he was saying that we can never stop forgiving. I have found four keys to being able to forgive with a truly changed heart.

First, when I remember that Jesus makes up the difference in my life and fills the gaps others may create for me, I am able to let offenses go. They become irrelevant to me. My life’s path and happiness are not dependent on someone else, only on me and the Lord. The Lord meets my needs and guides my path through His infinite power. “The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble,” taught David taught in Psalms 9:2-10. When we are offended or hurt by others, the Lord promises to heal us and provide for us: “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies” Psalm 23:5. What need is there to remain offended when the Lord anticipates our needs and makes our lives whole?

Second, when I remember that Jesus Christ has already forgiven my offender and me, what reason is there to continue to hold a grudge? In The parable of the unmerciful servant, a servant owed the king a tremendous debt, and the king was moved with compassion and forgave the debt.

However, the forgiven servant turned around and demanded a miniscule debt be repaid to him. The king was disappointed. This “is a story about us, the fallen human family…. Every one of us is a debtor, and the verdict was imprisonment for every one of us. And there we would all have remained were it not for the grace of a King who sets us free because He loves us and is ‘moved with compassion toward us’,” taught Elder Jeffrey Holland, an apostle in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Jesus has cleared the way for us to forgive through his own great forgiveness of us and our offenders. Why hold on to our own anger when it has already been set free? (See Matthew 18:23-33.)

The third key to forgiving is love. Love is important in families in part because it enables us to repent and forgive while we live together day-in and day-out. In the parable of the prodigal son, love is the reason the prodigal knew his father would receive him, even after he had offended and insulted his father, explains Michael Wilcox in his book “Twice Blessed.” Never-failing love creates an emotional safety net for families which allows us to be vulnerable while admitting mistakes and asking for forgiveness.

Unconditional love opens the door to forgiving and being forgiven. In long-term relationships, family members’ faith and trust in loved ones allows them to endure periods of discomfort because they believe hard times will be temporary, and that the better times will come back around. This long-term perspective allows families to forgive during difficult times. (See Luke 15:11-32.)

Jeffrey Haines tells about the power of forgiving in his family in his article “My Regrets, Her Forgiveness”: “My sweet wife of 35 years was dying of cancer. As I watched her [rest], I thought about what a blessing she had been in my life. I loved her so! I began to wonder if I had any regrets about the way I may have treated her at any time in our life together. I knew I had done things I should have regretted, but at that moment I could not think of any. I asked myself, ‘How can this be? I am an imperfect man…Surely I should be able to remember something I did that offended or hurt her.’ Then the Spirit whispered to me that I felt no regrets because my wife loved me and had forgiven me long ago of anything I may have done.” Unconditional love enables forgiving.

Fourth and most transforming is this: God changes us when we forgive. He gives us a changed heart. “A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you,” the Lord promises in Ezekiel 36:26. “When we give our heart to the Father and the Son, we change our world—even if circumstances around us do not change. We draw closer to Heavenly Father and feel His tender acceptance of our efforts to be true disciples of Christ,” taught Neill Marriott, a worldwide leader for young women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Forgiving is filled with renewal through Jesus Christ. We could never forgive by ourselves, but then we were never supposed to. When we turn to Jesus, forgiving can become perfect.

Beth Wright enjoys fishing, cycling and hiking and volunteers for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.