We should plant shade for our children

An old Chinese proverb says, “One generation plants the trees and another gets the shade.”

Our generation lives in the shade of many trees that were planted by our ancestors. In spiritual terms, we derive shade from our parents’ and grandparents’ ethical standards, their understanding of right and wrong, and above all, their spiritual commitment. There is no doubt that society today is in a serious state of spiritual and moral decline. How can we as Christian parents plant some trees that will shade future generations from what may well be the blistering heat of anti-Christian values in an anti-Christian world? Are we planting the right kind of shade trees or are we leaving our children totally exposed?

It is obvious that our culture is rapidly disintegrating morally, ethically and, above all, spiritually. The values now embraced by society as a whole are badly out of sync with God’s divine order. For example, the American court system sanctions the wholesale massacring of millions of unborn children annually, but a court in Kansas City recently sentenced one woman to four months in jail for killing a litter of unwanted kittens. A court in Janesville, Wis., sentenced a man to 12 years in prison for killing five cats “to relieve stress.” The case was indeed a heinous example of cruelty to animals. But two days after that man began serving his 12-year prison sentence, a Delaware court sentenced a woman to only 30 months in prison for killing her newborn infant.

The Bible says, “Bring them (children) up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). We may be watching the death of the germ cell of all civilization, the family. For the past 40 years the signs of the family’s collapse have been paraded before us. These include divorce, the sexual revolution, abortion, homosexuality, radical feminism and the children’s rights movement. We have been watching the braiding of an intricate rope that will strangle the family.

We desperately need a return to the biblical principles of parenting. We don’t need new, shrink-wrapped “programs.” Instead, we must consistently apply and obey the few simple principles that are clearly set forth in God’s word. These include constantly teaching our children the truth of God’s Word (Deuteronomy 6:7). Discipline them when they do wrong (Proverbs 23:13-14) and do not provoke them to anger (Colossians 3:21).

Successful parenting is complex and time consuming. Thankfully, here are four biblical principles that should lay the foundation for the Christian parent’s perspective.

• Children should be seen as a blessing and not a hardship. God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). Genesis 4:1 reads, “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, and said, ‘I have gotten a man from the Lord.’” She clearly recognized the God was the source of the child. She regarded the child as a gift from God. She was overjoyed. Despite the pain of childbirth, and irrespective of the fallenness of the child himself, she knew the child was an emblem of God’s grace to her. In Genesis 4:25 we read, “And Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and called him Seth, ‘For God has appointed another seed for me.’” Children, Eve knew, are blessed gifts from God.

• Parenting is to be a joy, not a burden. The parent’s task is not a yoke to be borne. It is a privilege to be enjoyed. God’s design in giving us children is to bless us. Parenting is hard only to the degree that parents make it hard by failing to follow the simple principles God sets forth. Nothing in your life will bring more joy and gladness than bringing up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

• Success in parenting is measured by what the parents do, not by what the child does. Sometimes children raised in fine Christian families grow up to abandon the faith. On the other hand, the Lord graciously redeems many children whose parents are utter failures. Often parents ask about Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This is not a blanket promise that if we raise our children right that they will walk faithfully with the Lord. Proverbs is made up of wise sayings and truisms — not necessarily inviolable rules.

Proverbs 22:6 is a principle that is generally true. How a person is trained determines what he becomes. Jesus said, “Everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher” (Luke 6:40). Children are normally products of their training. This is an axiomatic, or self-evident, truism.

• Achild’s most important influences must come from parents, not peers. God has solemnly charged parents with the duty of raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It is not the parents’ prerogative to delegate that duty to others. Parents must involve themselves in their children’s lives enough to ensure that no other influence takes precedence.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 details the responsibilities of parents. “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” Parenting is a full-time assignment. No phase of life is exempt. Not one hour of the day is excluded. There is no time-out for the parent who wants to be faithful to his calling.

A pattern was repeated again and again in Israel throughout Old Testament history. Whenever a generation of parents neglected to plant the seeds that would provide shade trees for subsequent generations, the children suffered the spiritual famine that inevitably followed. There will be no turnaround unless this generation of Christian parents resumes the full-time work of planting spiritual shade trees.

For many parents, the first step toward getting back on track must be a fresh commitment to the things of God for themselves. If your own priorities in life are askew, there’s no hope of teaching your children what they need to learn. Follow Jesus wholeheartedly.

Ethan Hansen is pastor of Faith Bible Fellowship in Big Lake. He can be reached at ehansen@biglakefaithbible.org.