Wedding Tuxedos and Formal Wear: 10 Rules

The conventional wisdom from wedding industry is that it’s “your wedding” so choose whatever “formal wear” you please, from a casual navy blazer to a khaki suit to a daring orange tailcoat or traditional Scottish kilt.

Our take? Bad idea. Ignore all that and stick to one guiding principle. WWJBD — What Would James Bond Do? Bond would never tolerate the indignity of getting stuffed into a peach cummerbund. He’d demand simplicity, formality — black.

For those who obsess over latest trends from Milan, a word to the wise: You may go from feeling all set to upset when, ten years down the road, you realize your wedding day look was a product of times, and oh how times have changed. So go ahead and skip over to picking the music for the reception if you please. Everyone else? Closely follow The Plunge’s 18 rules on formal wear.

Rule 1: Pick the best gear for you, but never overshadow the bride

She will undoubtedly “have some thoughts” about how your attire should fit in with the venue and her aesthetic vision for the day. Simply put, find the best formal wear for you, but plan to match your bride’s level of formality and you’ll have no headaches. If she chooses a one-of-a-kind Vera Wang white wedding dress, you wear a classic tux of your choice. If she opts for a lace-trim mini dress from J. Crew, go for a suit or something less formal. If looking stylish in your own right is as important to you as simply avoiding stress (and you’re certainly entitled), then you may have to bring her along slowly, but firmly. The one thing you can never ever do is draw attention away from her because she will make you pay for your transgression. Just look at those hideous dresses she picked out for her friends.

Rule 2: Think long-term: timeless trumps trendy

Ever flip through a wedding album from the ’70s and laugh at the disco ruffled tuxes and leopard-print jackets? If you make any “creative” or “fashion forward” choices that embrace the current trends you will be the punch line in 2044. Memorize that tongue twister: Timeless trumps trendy.

Rule 3: A tux is best. Buy if you can. Rent if you must

Chances are if you’re getting married, so are a ton of your friends. The tux will pay for itself in three to four events, and if your fiancée can spend $3,000 on a dress she’ll only wear once, why can’t you spend $500 on something you’ll wear repeatedly? Fair’s fair. You might even get someone else to pick up the tab. Of course, if you know you won’t wear those tails again – or you’re a yoyo dieter whose weight fluctuates 30 pounds every other month – then sure, rent the tux.

Rule 4: The groom must always win “best dressed”

If the photographer can’t tell the groom from a groomsman, a guest, his father in law, or a waiter, you’re doing it wrong. Buy that sharp new tux. Go with the tails for something different, yet classy. Accessorize. Break out the new shoes. Outfit your groomsmen so they complement your look without identically matching. Remember, the man who knows how to wear his tux best wins. You’re the groom – be a winner.

Rule 5: Easy on the colors

Black and white. Done and done. Leave the powder blue and orange to Harry and Lloyd and stick to one (not too bright and distracting) pop of color. Your pocket square, vest, or cummerbund is acceptable. Your bowtie is not (see Rule 13) and neither is your tux lining (no one should see it in a well-fitted suit). Note: Colors like “midnight blue” (for tuxes or suits) and “charcoal” (for suits) fall into the category of black and white. Welcome to the insanity of fashion. Bonus Pro Tip: Midnight blue works best with lighter hair and will actually appear darker than black at night because as everyone knows, midnight is darker than regular night. You are now fashionable.

Rule 6: The only acceptable suit is your best suit

Before we get into the details, we should note that yes, a suit can work. You should still look different yet complementary to your groomsmen (think pinstripe or pattern vs. solid color), remember not to compete with your bride, and it had better fit like it’s your very best quality suit. We’d recommend dark navy or charcoal if you go this route. Solid or stripe is up to you. Your bride will appreciate it if your tie incorporates the wedding’s color scheme. Jesus. Did we just say “wedding’s color scheme?” Slap us.

Rule 7: Find a good tailor

And for that matter, find a good retailer that offers classic tailoring. Chances are you will need something altered, whether it’s tapering the trousers, shortening the jacket sleeves or adding a buttonhole to the lapel. Sure, you might have to pay for it, but if this is to be your best suit it should look like it. If you already use someone else for your suits then by all means go there. If not, ask around for recommendations. Chances are your fiancée already has a tailor on her list of contacts.

Rule 8: Find the right cut and fit for your body

Alright men, let’s suit up. First and foremost, certain cuts and combinations work better for different body types. The highlights:

Short and slender: Single breasted jacket, mid-sized lapel.

Short and stocky: Wider collar lapel, absolutely no cummerbunds. One-button tuxedo or top button of a suit should fall on the natural waist, not above it, to product a longer lapel line.

Tall and muscular: Classic single-breasted (or double-breasted if cut well) can complement this physique.

Tall and slim: Pretty much anything. Classic single-breasted is probably best, double-breasted will also work (always button it up).

Finally, fit matters. If the jacket almost fits but you think maybe you can squeak by without alteration, pony up the 40 bucks to slim down the shoulders. You always look better in a properly fitted suit or tux, whether you have the physique of Tony Romo or Tony Siragusa.

Rule 9: Know your lapels – peak is best

Most tuxes out there today feature notch lapels, which sadly leave many grooms looking mass-produced and undistinguished because they just don’t know any better. Well know this: it’s passable for the daytime, but for a formal nighttime affair (and in general, really) peak lapel is the best choice and is worth the effort potentially required to find one. Not only is it dressier, it’s more elongating. Also note: the broader your shoulders are, the wider your lapels should be.

Rule 10: Your collar’s scale, height, and spread must flatter your face

When choosing a collar, always consider your face and its proportions. The wing collar (with points shooting up) is the most traditional, but if you, like Bond, wouldn’t be caught dead in one, there are other options. For a round face, go for a more vertical straight-point collar. For a long neck, you’ll need a higher-sitting collar. When in doubt, try it on and choose the collar whose scale, height, and spread is the most flattering for your face. Or just have your bride decide. As for the shirt itself, go as plain as you can stand. You need not ruffle – just make sure it fits.