What are the keys to our joy?

Religious Views, by Delisa Renideo

Everyone wants to be happy. We make our life choices based upon wanting to be happy. When we buy a home, we believe it will make us happy. When we take a new job, we think it will help us be happy. We think it will make us happy to get married … or to get divorced. When someone steals money, they believe it will contribute to their happiness. Seeking revenge is also intended to bring happiness.

Is it really possible that each of these choices contain the seeds of happiness?

It is natural and healthy to want to be happy. It would be very strange, indeed, for someone to make a conscious choice to become unhappy. So even self-destructive actions are intended to bring some level of happiness or satisfaction. The problem is not in wanting to be happy, it is in believing that any of these choices will make us happy.

Another great myth is that having more would make us happier. This house is OK, but if it were just a little bigger … I can live on my income, but if I just had a raise … If I only had more time … or more energy … or more sleep … or more daylight …

The key to happiness is in appreciating what we have. Living with an attitude of gratitude changes the whole color of our world. It really makes no difference what house we live in; we can be equally happy or unhappy in a big or small house. What does matter is that we appreciate what we have. Children can be happier with one toy than with a houseful of toys. And so can adults.

It is so easy to be caught up in the pursuit of those things we think will make us happy that we skip right over the joy of appreciating what we have. An attitude of thanksgiving allows us to be in a state of acceptance of the good in our lives. Searching for and pursuing more, more, more keeps us from enjoying what is in our lives in this moment.

Living with an attitude of gratitude doesn't mean that we like everything that happens in our lives. It doesn't mean that we don't experience difficulties. But rather than focusing on the difficulties, we find something to be grateful for. Some of the most grateful people I have known were those whose house had burned down, or who had just been in a terrible accident. They say things like, "I'm just so grateful that no one was killed." Sometimes we seem to need something drastic to begin to appreciate the most basic gifts of life.

Practicing gratitude is a spiritual practice. It may not feel easy or natural at first because we are so used to an attitude of "not enoughness" or "not good enoughness." Complaining is far more common in our culture than gratitude and appreciation. An attitude of gratitude requires a conscious choice, until it gets to be such a habit that it becomes the state of consciousness in which we live.

A grateful heart is also a loving heart, a generous heart, and a cheerful heart. You can't feel grateful and angry at the same time. You can't feel grateful and stingy, or grateful and hateful. Gratitude is the key to joy, and this key is available to everyone in every moment, regardless of circumstances.

November is the official month for us to celebrate Thanksgiving, but if we want to be truly joyful, I suggest we celebrate every day of our lives with thanksgiving. The more we focus on the good in our lives, the more grateful, more loving, and more joyful we will be.

Delisa Renideo is the Spiritual Leader at Unity Church of the Valley in Wasilla. She can be reached at 373-1526.