What makes the Valley tick? Coffee, and lots of it!

For many, the daily consumption of several fluid ounces of water filtered through several tablespoons of dried ground beans is a way of life. The ever-enterprising free market has been quick to capitalize on these addictions, with a bewildering array of mochas, lattes, mochalettoes, and espressiattoccinoes springing up on a weekly basis.

The Valley has not been exempted from these forces. Anyone driving down a major thoroughfare in the Valley cannot fail to miss the variety of kiosks, camper trailers, and tiny roadside shacks that have cropped up in the area peddling coffee to the masses. Driving the Palmer-Wasilla Highway from tip to tail, you'll pass nearly a half dozen full-sized establishments and small coffee shacks catering to travelers on the busy roadway.

The ultimate question that this expansion raises is how Palmer and Wasilla, both small cities, can support such an extreme number of coffee establishments. Almost two dozen coffeehouses and espresso stands can be found in Palmer and Wasilla, and additional coffee kiosks and counters grace many supermarkets and malls. The establishments all sport colorful names such as Bean Me Up Espresso, Howlin' Dog Espresso, Mocha Moose (not to be confused with Purple Moose), Potato Patch Espresso, and Sleepy Dog Coffee.

Lorie Koppenburg, owner of Vagabond Blues Coffeehouse in Palmer, attributes the recent caffeine explosion in the Valley to the area's period of protracted growth.

"The Valley population is growing steadily, and that's going to support an increasing number of coffee places," she said. However, Ron Aclure of the Coffee Roastery and Deli along the Palmer-Wasilla Highway believes that "the overall Valley population hasn't been growing at nearly the same rate as the espresso business."

Despite this glut of coffee establishments and the inevitable competition that it creates, Aclure doesn't expect the trend to play out in the near future. "It's going to keep growing, keep bringing in new areas of competition," he said. Aclure also noted that local coffee shops change to fit trends on the horizon; a recent craze for expensive milk-based teas such as chai lattes has prompted many Valley coffee establishments to change their menus. Responding to the popularity of Starbucks Frappuccinos and other milkshake-style coffee drinks, Vagabond Blues is planning to establish a foothold in the coffee smoothie market during the upcoming summer, offering coffee blended with finely ground ice.

Many local merchants who sell decidedly inedible goods such as books are responding to the craze by expanding their inventories to include caffeinated beverages. "I've always been reluctant to get on the coffee bandwagon," said David Cheezem, co-owner of Fireside Books. But literature and coffee seem to walk hand-in-hand these days, and the Palmer store soon climbed on that very wagon.

"We started out using canned, store-bought coffee," Cheezem remembers. The less-than-favorable reviews and good-natured ribbing that came to his ears about the brew prompted him to adopt the humorous motto "Good Books, Bad Coffee," for his establishment.

Recently, however, Cheezem has begun to break into the gourmet coffee business through collaboration with Aclure. Their brainchild, Real Alaskan Ugly Coffee, is designed to inspire images of "goldpanners reading 'War and Peace' by lanternlight with a cold subzero wind blowing outside," and is, appropriately enough, being sold at Fireside.

The store has already sold about 20 pounds of the Real Alaskan Ugly vintage, and Cheezem expects sales to increase during the tourist season this summer.

Aclure sees the expansion of retail stores into the coffee marketing game as a natural course of action. "It's just a typical American mentality," he said. "People are always going to try to skim that top layer of profit."

Valley coffee peddlers flourish in part due to lack of corporate coffee presence in the state. There are several large independent roasters such as Kaladi Brothers based in Anchorage, but the coffee conglomerates of the Pacific Northwest have yet to make the trek across Canada to peddle their wares in Alaska. There are more than 5,000 Starbucks in malls and urban areas nationwide, but there are no full-fledged corporate branches operating in the state. This means that almost all of the Valley's coffeehouses and espresso stands are owned and operated by locals. And it's been this way for quite some time; Vagabond Blues has been in business since 1994, and Aclure has been roasting since 1991.

The threat of corporate intrusion on the Valley coffee scene doesn't trouble too many local business owners.

"This is a well-established business," Koppenberg said of her coffeehouse. "It holds its own against larger corporations."

Koppenberg attributes her business' success to Vagabond's wide and varied clientele, their home-baked goods, and their frequent live music shows. The coffeehouse has become so popular that they will be opening a food booth at the Alaska State Fair this year.

Koppenberg is proud of the Valley's locally owned coffee market. "This is our home, this is our economy, so we're going to take care of it," she said.

What does your coffee say about you?

Coffee in the Valley and elsewhere is generally delivered via three separate vehicles, corresponding to the amount of time the consumer has on hand to devote to consumption of the drink. Drinkers with an entire afternoon to spare can enjoy a mug at leisure in a coffeeshop, while those wanting a buzz on the way to work can visit a roadside espresso stand. If you haven't got time for drive-through, there are also espresso machines situated in most gas stations and convenience stores.

The Frontiersman sent its intrepid reporter to each of these locations to investigate what sort of wonders and horrors lurk within their depths, as well as to sample the coffee for scientific testing and such. Following is a breakdown of the findings:

Place: Coffeehouse

The Deal: pony up some dough, have a seat, sip at your drink while reading a novel

Appeals to: bohemians, the overstressed, people who wear turtlenecks

Field Testing: The White Russian Latte from Vagabond Blues is made with Irish cream and creme de cacao. While lacking the firm edge of its more caffeinated counterparts, it's mild and pleasant to drink -- perfect for long afternoons. And the ambiance can't be beat.

Place: Drive-through espresso stand

The Deal: pull up to the window, shout your order, try to manage the cup and steering wheel simultaneously

Appeals to: workaholics, ambidextrous drivers, morning people

Field Testing: The Screaming Monkey Mocha from the Potato Patch Espresso stand near Pioneer Peak Elementary consists of capppuccino mixed with banana, chocolate, and macadamia nut flavoring. It's heavy on the chocolate especially, which does a good job of masking the bite of the drink. This is a beverage to wake you up in the morning.

Place: Gas station cappuccino machine

The Deal: stick your cup under a nozzle, push a button, frown suspiciously at the result

Appeals to: angry loners, insomniacs, caffeine addicts

Field Testing: The drink emanating from the spigot at the local gas station seems to be equal parts milk, coffee and sugar. The taste is vaguely similar to Halloween candy melted in a hot cup of java; it's palatable, but no match for its more meticulously prepared counterparts. When everything else is closed, however, this might be your only option.

Coffee glossary for the terminologically clueless

Coffee (KAW-fee):

A dark brown drink formed by straining ordinary tap water through the dried, ground beans of the

coffee plant.

Espresso (ess-

PRESS-oh):

Highly concentrated coffee made by forcing a small amount of water through tightly packed grounds.

The base for many designer drinks.

Cappuccino (cap-uh-CHEE-no):

Espresso topped with foamed milk.

Au Lait (OH-lay):

Half a serving of regular coffee and half a serving of steamed milk,

mixed together.

Latte (LAH-tay):

Espresso mixed with steamed milk.

Mocha (MO-ka):

A latte mixed with chocolate, often served with whipped cream.

Americano (ah-mer-i-KA-noh):

A gourmet coffee drink consisting of several shots of espresso

mixed with hot water.

Depth Charge (DEP-th CHARGE):

A serving of coffee mixed with one or more servings of espresso. Sometimes called an Eye Opener, this drink is designed to wake

you up or die trying.

Amaretto (ah-mar-ET-oh):

A latte mixed with almond syrup.

Espresso Breve (ESS-PRESS-oh BRE-vay):

Espresso mixed with half-and-half cream.

Granita (grah-NI-tah):

A latte served cold with crushed ice.

Macchiatto (MAHK-hee-AH-to):

A drink consisting of espresso mixed with milk foam.

Arabica (a-RAH-bih-cah):

Coffee originating from the Arabian peninsula, generally

considered the world's best. Used in most specialty drinks.

Crema (KRAY-mah):

The foam formed on top of a cappuccino drink during

the brewing process.