When I Lackest Understanding, I Listen

There is a Jewish woman who shares what her life is like as an orthodox Jew on social media. Recently, she shared a video of upsherin, the tradition of cutting a boy’s hair when he turns three. It symbolizes the transition from infancy and toddlerhood to childhood in the Jewish tradition. Everyone in attendance gets to gently cut his hair as part of this celebration.

Several well-meaning people commented that because the child wasn’t consenting to his hair being cut, they felt uncomfortable watching the tradition.. Some people insisted that this was a stupid thing to do and questioned why anyone would do such a thing to their child. However, cutting a child’s hair for the first time between two and three is not unique to Jewish practice. In Hindu and Islamic practices, they will completely shave a child’s head for both spiritual and practical reasons.

As I thought about all the people who don’t observe upsherin and were unwilling to open themselves up to other people’s beliefs, I thought about the wealthy young man that Jesus met. The story goes that a wealthy young man sought out Jesus Christ and claimed to have done everything that was asked of him. Yet, he was concerned he wouldn’t make it to heaven and asked “What shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” (Mark 10:17).

Jesus looked at him and loved him and said “One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and though shalt have treasure in heaven: come, take up the cross, and follow me” (Mark 10:21). The young man couldn’t do it. It was too much of an ask and he sadly walked away. Jesus told his disciples “How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the Kingdom of God” (Mark 10:23).

Traditionally, this story is an allegory asking us to reflect on what we would give up to follow Him. As I thought about the social media backlash met by people who didn’t understand another culture and religious views, I wondered if maybe there’s a secondary lesson that we can glean from the young man’s experience.

The young man knew he hadn’t done enough, but he only wanted things that fit into his ideals. He didn’t see why he needed to give up all of his things. He was unwilling to open his mind and heart to others around him. It’s been said that it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven, but that has nothing to do with how much money is in the bank account. Rather, it’s a question of how receptive you are to others around you.

My children’s favorite Christmas story – in all of its iterations and variations – is A Christmas Carol. They love watching Scrooge learn that kindness is everything, but for that to happen, Scrooge has to let go of his pride. Scrooge doesn’t lose all his money by the end of the story. We can presume he doesn’t close his business either. We do know that his heart is open to giving to others. After our annual reread, my son asked if Scrooge would get the chains too, and I genuinely don't believe he would because he repented and he saw a change of heart and that's what Jesus asks of us.

Christ needs us to be receptive to others to grow ourselves. We have divine opportunities to grow spiritually but according to Elder Larry R. Lawerance if it’s “not a priority in our lives… we will miss out on the important experiences that God wants to give us.” We do not have to agree with everyone around us, and it’s okay to stand for things that are important to us, but it’s also important to listen to other individuals’ experiences and perspectives.

We simply cannot be like the wealthy man in saying that we've had enough of Christ, enough knowledge, enough experience, enough goodness, and enough kindness while reaching for more selfish pursuits. That extends to learning about other people's experiences and points of view as well. I've learned a lot about Jewish tradition and law, and the goodliness of it that connects to Christianity, by listening to and following along with individuals of other faiths.

When we form opinions about a community or a person without fully understanding either, we are no better than the wealthy man turning his back on Christ and his followers because he didn't want to give up his pride.

Last week, we celebrated Easter which is a renewal for many Christian groups to come closer to Christ. A moment to be quiet and listen and be thankful. Ramadan was last month, and Passover begins in the middle of April. All of which serve similar purposes, to come closer to a God who loves us and wants the best for each of us.

Fortunately, another moment is coming soon when you can continue to feel the peace and love that God has for each of his children - regardless of denomination or religion. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will host a General Conference for all of God's children this weekend. We invite you to tune in and listen when and if you can. The messages are not just for those who are affiliated with the church, but for everyone who knows God, who wants to know God, or who is curious about who God is or if He's listening. I can assure you that if you listen this weekend, even just for a little bit, you'll feel His love for us.

A friend told me once that the most difficult things to open are closed minds and the hardest things to close are open minds. Opening our hearts and ears to others gives us a chance to grow. I know that Christ came to this earth so that we can learn and grow, and that with time and experience, we'll come to know Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father.

Ami Reece is a writer who is putting her finishing touches on her debut novel. She manages a fledgling blog, Momisms, that reminds moms that motherhood is about practice, not perfection. She lives in the confusing place between Wasilla and Palmer with her husband and three children. She’s a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Tune in to General Conference! Watch live Saturday, April 6 and Sunday, April 7 at 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. at www.churchofjesuschrist.org or on the General Conference YouTube channel.