When I was your age…

“When I was your age, I walked 20 miles to school each day in knee-deep snow.”

I find myself using a similar stem to begin comments to my students. My age is showing. I have a newfound nostalgia for my typewriter, family sitcoms, and days before the Internet.

When I was a teen, no one talked about or seemed to experience depression, and learning disabilities were undiagnosed. Kids just made due, I guess. I have to remind myself daily that today kids live in a much different world.

Over the last few years, I’ve noticed an increase in students seeking mental health services. I can still remember the first time I learned about kids cutting themselves to deal with pain. I was shocked. I couldn’t imagine such a thing.

The poetry I was reading became darker, and it seemed every time I turned around, another school shooting had occurred. I began to wonder: Are more kids suffering from depression today? If so, why?

I must disclose that I am an English teacher, with no background in psychology or counseling. I set out to learn more about teen depression in hopes of understanding the causes. I’m well-versed in the effects.

Here’s what I found: high school students today are 5-8 times more likely to have depressive symptoms than 50 years ago. Fifty years ago, people still struggled with the economy, war, family issues. What has changed?

According to my research, there are many possible explanations. Social media is one potential culprit to blame for the lack of resiliency found in our teens.

Social media offers constant external attention, often given for self-promotion, surface attributes and qualities. Intrinsic motivation and inner drive are not rewarded or recognized.

So, when a teen is harassed, put down or receives a negative response, they lack the inner confidence to handle the feedback. The outside has become more important, recognized and valued than the inside.

I recently wrote an article about teen motivation. Based on a book I was reading, I learned that our society has created a generation of kids who won’t try. I believe this lack of motivation can fuel disappointment and unrealistic expectations. These days, everyone is a winner. Every child gets a trophy, a birthday prize, and a claim to fame.

Kids today don’t learn to successfully and gracefully lose. They learn that effort and showing up is enough for recognition, another form of external reward. Losing can drive work ethic, commitment, and persistence – all traits necessary to be successful. Kids are not learning to be resilient, so they take each stumble as a fall.

Now, add mainstream media outlets to the cabinet full of unearned trophies and 400 Twitter followers and Instagram friends. When I was a kid — here I go again — television shows focused on family, working together, and positive behaviors: Family Ties, Cosby Show, Love Boat, etc.

Today, evening shows are about “reality” — they show people behaving poorly and selfishly, without restraint. The “actors” shout, holler, and have emotional outbursts. Anyone can have 15 Minutes of Fame.

These shows do not model the importance of interpersonal skills, but reinforce the value of shallow relationships and a contrived individual success. Again, it’s all about the outside.

I don’t think the world we live in is going to slow down. So, where does that leave us?

The one area I found missing in my research was what to do for teens to prevent depression or suicidal thoughts. There’s quite a bit of information about the signs of depression and the steps to take once diagnosed or suspected. I want to be proactive.

My first response to these findings was to feel discouraged. I can’t change society’s movement forward. But, as the old saying goes, knowledge is power. I plan to incorporate pop culture and trends into writing units, poetry writing, and persuasion techniques. Maybe if kids can see through the glam, they won’t be as vulnerable.

Lastly, I know that genuine, caring, consistent and positive relationships with kids can make all the difference. It’s not a fail-safe but it’s a start.

Our teens need to be reminded and shown that real relationships, in person, are the food of the soul. They nourish, complete and empower.

This is just as true today as it was when I was a kid. It will be just as true tomorrow as well.

Brandy J. Bishop teaches ninth, 10th, and 12th-grade English at Colony High School.