Where is hope?

A couple of my friends have been experiencing marital challenges. For the moment, the happy ending they had both been hoping for does not appear to be in the cards for them. One of them has a spouse with a recently revealed drug addiction and another has a thankless spouse who possesses narcissist characteristics. Both have feelings of pain, guilt for themselves and their children. But more than anything, they wonder when happiness will come.

We recently spoke about hope, belief and the bigger picture. They admit it is hard to feel or see that when your children are being handed off, trying to change diapers and meet the needs of both being a parent and an individual plus working full-time. They feel like their individual worth has been lost in the sea of court documents, accusations and isolation. Most of the time, they feel like the odd friend at the party, the token guest that people bring to a party because they do not know what else to do. One talks about the crushing loneliness at night as they lay in their bed, alone, their child with the other spouse. One of them asked, “Where is hope?”

With the recent run of bank failures, I read a story of a small business owner, going from bank to bank, trying to open an account with her young son in tow, hoping to make things work so she could make payroll for her employees. Through no fault of her own, she had placed faith in a financial institution that had made some poor choices and was now shuttering its doors. She felt frantic, lost, worried, and confused. Loss of hope can happen to anyone, in pretty much any situation.

How often have we wished away the fears and worries of life? I know I have and I am sure many of you have as well. Hope can start off incredibly small but grow. One example of hope is a small match that is lit in a cave, once that match is on fire, it maybe small but the light pushes the darkness away and as long as the fire has fuel, even a small amount of it, the flame grows. The only way the flame goes out is a lack of fuel or oxygen. You can not get more darkness to drown it out, no matter how dark it is around the flame, the darkness can not put it out. Hope is just as powerful, pushing away the darkness. So, what is the fuel of hope?

The answer is in KJV Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” If the faith of a mustard seed can move a mountain, imaging what a whisp of faith can do in our own lives? The energy from faith gives us hope and the ability to move forward, to believe in those “things not seen” but that we know are out there.

Have you ever had one of those friends or have been with a person that just makes you a better person? They just make you want to be the better version of yourself, and you walk a little taller when you are with them. How do they make us feel that way? We feel more confident, more alive, more sure and more secure in who we feel we are when we are with them. Do they not fill us with faith and hope, not just in ourselves but in those around us? We long to be back around these types of folks as we feel that we can accomplish anything when we are with them.

So I would say to my wonderful, brave and heartbroken friends, strike the match in your life, light your new flame, feed it with faith, hopes and dreams. Know that despite all the negative thoughts and beliefs out there, that darkness does NOT drown out the light. Your faith, my faith in you and so many others that see, know and believe in you will feed the flame until you can feed the fire of hope yourself. And just like the scripture reads, “evidence of things not seen,” brighter and better days are head for them and for all who put faith and hope first.

John Boston is a local physician, father, husband, grandfather and believer in Christ. He is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.