Why do we hesitate to accept help?

Yesterday I was asked by a new friend, “Do you enjoy being a Pastor?” I didn’t answer immediately. But, I knew my answer, and as I thought about the question I answered, “Yes.” I do enjoy responding to the call of God and serving his people.

Then this new friend asked me, “What about being a pastor do you enjoy most?” That was a tougher question. I enjoy preaching and teaching. I enjoy personal time with people in their homes, or in the office, or in restaurants talking about God’s love in our lives. I enjoy planning ministry. I thought for a moment about what I do enjoy most. After a short period I answered, “I really enjoy making a difference for good in someone’s life with God’s love.”

But, it is not just pastors who can help another individual. Every person can reach out in kindness to others. In fact, every Christian can share with others the love they have received from God. St. Paul even says that is part of the purpose we have as Christians. “3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) There are many, many calls and encouragements in Scripture, commands even, to love others. But this verse tells us we all have been equipped, by the troubles and trials we have faced, to help others.

There is just one “fly in the ointment.” While God’s children are equipped to help and often want to help others, sometimes all of us feel funny about asking for or receiving help. We like to feel strong. We can be ashamed of our problems. We all, even pastors, often hide our pain. We hide our pain or troubles from God, which is foolish because God knows everything. We hide our pain and troubles from others, which can also be foolish, because God has created people to live in relationship with others. We are created to “carry one another’s burdens.” (Galatians 6:2)

A week ago, after visiting with someone who was going through some medical trials, and then praying with them, this person asked me, “How are you doing, Pastor?” I admit to being a little hesitant to share. I like to help others. Being helped is something else.

Why is it that we don’t like to admit troubles and, therefore, we sometimes won’t accept help? After all, we are all sinners. We have all rebelled against God’s law. We have all hurt others. We have all acted in selfishness. We all need the forgiveness and saving of God’s Savior, Jesus. If we know this, why do we struggle to admit our pain and accept help from others?

I have been at a Stephen Ministry training conference, with St. John Stephen Ministers Lisa Jenson and Cathy Grosz, since Sunday night. The conference ends Saturday. We each learned not only how we are able to reach out to share God’s love and presence with others who are hurting, but we have also learned how we are wounded and broken ourselves. We all need the care, the listening, and the help others can give. And, because we have suffered troubles, we are prepared to help others with the love and forgiveness God has given us.

Let me encourage you to love and help one another. But, let me also encourage you to know your struggles and let your Christian brothers and sisters bless you with the love God has shown them. That is part of God’s plan for sharing his love in this world.

Jonathan Rockey is pastor of St. John Lutheran Church in Palmer. Contact him at jonrock53@mtaonline.net.

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