Why I ran as a Democrat …

A Spectrum, by Kay Bills

Many people, including Democrats, have asked me why I would file for a legislative seat in the most Republican area of this state. What could possibly motivate a successful business and professional woman to spend her own money and take time away from a job she loves to try to represent a region where Democrats have been ridiculed and demonized for the past eight years.

It seems incredulous to those who supported me to understand why I was defeated so soundly by the Republican candidate. It is not hard for me to answer those questions. I knew it going into the election long before I filed on June 1.

I allowed myself and my campaign to be compressed into 30-second sound bites and forums that want 10-word answers to complex and difficult problems. I disappointed my supporters and myself. For that I am filled with regret. I lost my voice on the things I care passionately about. Those are the things that keep us awake at night. Those are the core issues that permeate our thoughts and affect our behavior at every level from birth to death. I was too silent. I was just like our national and statewide candidates.

At one point my husband asked me if I really wanted to win. I thought of the moms and dads who were fearful they would lose Denali Kid Care or how they could possible buy health insurance. I thought of seniors who knew they would bankrupt their families if they had to be sick for very long and listened to their fears and their concerns about the cost of their life-saving prescriptions. I thought of the veterans who only want health care and a place to lay down their final years. I knew the families who struggled with suicide and mental illness of their loved ones. I realized that twice as many people die of suicide each year than are killed by drunk drivers. When I did find a forum, I was ridiculed as promoting those "touchy-feely things that just cost us money. We need to get rid of all those "new" programs that are not the business of government." I knew that we Americans do not leave our sick and wounded on the side of the road to die. Yet I became silent when I should have been challenging the immorality of such statements.

I felt the agony of catastrophic illnesses that victims of cancer shared and the struggles of addiction of alcohol and tobacco. I knew the untold nightmare of domestic violence and the struggles of social workers and police in trying to make a safe place for our displaced children. This and so much more was playing in my ears. I backed away and tried to explain how the "budget" determines these issues instead of shouting out loud for compassion and understanding.

I thought of the role that our labor unions have played in keeping our wages at a liveable level. I understood the difficulty of the workers who are trying to live on minimum wage while competing with senior citizens for even those jobs. Yet, I returned labor contributions so as not to be "tainted."

While in the classrooms of our schools, I saw the total foolishness of exit exams on the true meaning of teaching. I knew I could ask any first grade teacher and they would tell legislators which child would pass the exam in high school. But what they could not tell you is which student would be good citizens, carpenters, mechanics, excellent moms and great dads. Students who are flying past the exams have no better record of being successful citizens that the ones who fail. Ask any parent of the high achievers whose child has lost their way in the big picture of life and they struggle for answers. I knew all this and said very little. I am thankful that Jon Pinard raised it as an issue and then addressed the struggle every small school has in competition for equitable funding. Thank you, Jon. You did a better than I.

I saw all the lost opportunities to develop a viable and sustainable tourism industry and business development slip away over the last years. I so missed hearing the voices of our prior champions in Juneau. They stood tall among their peers and always took care of our needs. Our new senator, Scott Ogan, said in the running debates how the Republican delegation had been marginalized in the house because "they didn't need our votes. That's why I ran for the senate." Our beautiful valley has been ridiculed and marginalized by the rest of the state. I allowed myself to be marginalized by an overwhelming chorus of those people who belittle and browbeat my Democratic past and history. I was described as "confrontational." I backed down and babbled about budgets again.

Of course, the small business struggles in insurance and bonding and their growth were at the top of my list. I knew where their heart and souls were every day. I lived and died with them. Our small businesses are desperate to see a future tomorrow and so fearful of today. I knew I could challenge the state to bring them to the table. I regret that I could not get voters to understand the huge role that small business plays in this state. I knew that 97 percent of the businesses in Alaska are small businesses with big payrolls that keep us going. I knew that when you look at the economic pie charts as drivers for our economy, you see resource development, fishing, military and others areas. You do not see the small business. I also know that they are the first line to fail when our state fails. Again, I tried to remind them of how fragile our economy is and talked budget. How foolish I feel now. I should have talked about the wonderful role our national government is in understanding the way to promote our businesses instead of the perceived "hindrances." Every time a business needs help our Small Business Administration and other federal agencies have a strong and helping hand for those who reach out. Our state is one of the few states with no Office of Small Business. Oh, how I regret I was not more forceful, more confrontational.

I desperately want clean water, clean air and the military to clean up after they leave. I want healthy forests that sustain our wildlife and streams that ensure our continued fisheries. I want forestry, fishing and other industries to be at the top of our state priorities, not mired in constant personal bickering. Yet I did not reach out to those like-minded people who try every day to fight for the same issues and are demonized. How can I make a difference if I deny they exist?

Now on taxes. I can never live long enough to pay in taxes to the government for all they do for my family and me. Taxes are what we pay for living in the strongest nation in the world with the most wonderful opportunities. I have been the beneficiary of a country that opened up undreamed opportunities to a little girl born on an Indian reservation and raised on a government pension. I was embraced by a strong government that educated me, fed me, protected me and put me on the road to 61 years of a wonderful life. While I deeply regret the shortcomings of my campaign message, I do not regret the experience of this last summer. It has reinforced what I really believe and acknowledges the role a strong government had to play in my life and the lives of those I love.

I wish Representative Masek the best in her future years. If she falters at times I hope she will find strength in her work and refocus on the important task ahead. There is no magic bullet that will save us from ourselves. But with a new and energized start, I pray she will grow into her position and bring pride to her people. They need her now more than ever. It is not too late.

Finally, to those Democrats that feel the overwhelming burden of now serving, please know how proud I am of each and every one of you. Our Democratic legislators have an awesome responsibility now. They must do what I failed to do. They must speak up loud and clear for those core issues of Democratic Party values that make a real difference in our individual lives. They must build coalitions with Republicans who also want to make a difference in the lives of all our citizens. I know that Democrats are not the only ones who feel as I do. I can not imagine Abraham Lincoln turning his back on these issues for the sake of a dollar bill. I have no idea of where the next years will take me. However, every day of my life I will be proud to be counted among those individuals who call themselves, Democrat. And that's as good as it gets.

Kay Bills is Meadow Lakes resident