You can be An effective counselor

A young pastor had to preach his very first sermon. He was told that every good sermon has a title, three points and a poem at the end. He studied and read and thought and prayed and then studied some more. In a moment, it all came together! His title was, “Problems.” His first point, “I have problems.” His second point, “You have problems.” His third point, “We all have problems.” His poem at the end, “Adam had’em.”

Every one of us have problems. Job 5:7 says, “Man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward.” Difficulties are a normal part of life. Every person in the Bible- even the Lord Jesus- had problems. We all need help with the difficulties of life. Wisdom is the ability to understand the Bible and then apply it to a person’s life. Every Christian is called to be an effective counselor.

Titus commands the older men to teach or counsel the younger men. Older women are called to teach or counsel the younger women. Proverbs 25:11 says, “Like apples of gold in settings of silver so is a word spoken in right circumstances.” Difficulties come into our lives. God strengthens and teaches us through those difficulties so we can help others. What does it take to be an effective counselor? There are four steps to being an good counselor.

The very first step is to listen. This is very simple but difficult to apply! James 1:19 says, “Every person must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” A good counselor begins by listening. Let the person pour out their problems. Understand their tough times. Walk in their moccasins. Have empathy. Listen. It is very hard to find a person who will truly listen.

The second step is to identify idols. The spiritual battle is won or lost in the mind. A good counselor identifies wrong thinking. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says, “For the weapons of our warfare are not physical but spiritual for the tearing down of strongholds bringing every thought into captivity.”

The devil brings lies. We must identify those lies and correct them. The New Testament epistles begin with doctrine and then comes duty. The Book of Ephesians has three chapters of doctrine (right thinking) followed by three chapters of duty (right action). Philippians has two chapters of information followed by two chapters of application. Wrong choices flow from wrong thinking.

There are many wrong responses to difficult circumstances. For instance, a person experiences great pain in a relationship. They say, “I will build walls. I will isolate myself. I will never hurt again.” This is wrong thinking! We don’t overcome difficulties by isolating ourselves.

Another person says, “I will escape from the hard times.” Many try to escape through alcohol or drugs or food or sex- the list goes on and on.

A good counselor begins by listening. A good counselor then identifies idols. The third step is to replace idols with the truth of God’s Word. The devil whispers, “No one cares about you. The situation is hopeless.” You must replace that lie with the truth. John 3:16 says, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” We are never alone. God loves us and cares very deeply for us.

A common idol in our culture is that money buys happiness. Adrian Rodgers said, “True wealth is everything money can’t buy and death can’t take away.” Happiness is found in knowing God through His Son Jesus and becoming like Him. We may be blessed with great wealth but we must never worship that wealth.

Listen. Identify idols. Replace the lies with truth. The fourth step is to encourage the person to apply the truth. What is encouragement? It is giving courage to another person. “You can do it. You can persevere. You can change.”

In Philippians 4:9 the apostle Paul said, “The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, these do and the God of peace will be with you.” The secret to the Bible is application. Many people are bludgeoned by life. Difficult circumstances beat them down. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter. He is our parakaleo- He is called alongside to help us. We must come alongside others and encourage them.

Failure is not final. Many great men and women have failed. Adam and Eve failed in the garden. Abraham failed with Hagar and his son Ishmael. Even Moses failed in the wilderness and couldn’t enter the Promised Land. There is One Person Who never failed. Jesus went to the cross and won salvation for His people. He paid for our sins. Matthew 20:28 says, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many.” We must do the same for others!

Ethan Hansen is a pastor at Faith Bible Fellowship in Big Lake.