You, with the label … drop it

Being Frank, by Frank Ameduri

Before you start reading this, take off all your clothes, stop sucking in your gut, pull your comb-over down into its natural state and wipe off any cosmetics you might be wearing. Stand in front of a mirror for 10 minutes, slowly turning so you can observe yourself from all angles. There you are.

Now sit down with a pen and paper. First, put your clothes on and flip your hair back on top of your head in case a neighbor drops by. Write all the words you label yourself with across the top of the page -- like this: Conservative, Christian, Republican, Omnivore, Liberal, Atheist, Vegetarian, Democrat, etc.

Under each label, make a list of words of definition. Read the list. There you are.

Isn't that disturbing? You're a chubby, bald person who can be absolutely defined on a sheet of notebook paper filled with vague labels and stereotyped definitions. It's no wonder everybody's so defensive these days. It's no wonder we all seem to take ourselves so seriously. Under the label "Conservative," you might have written, "anti-tax, small government, pro-death-penalty, pro-life, pro-voucher," etc. Under the "Liberal" label you might have written, "pro-tax, pro-civil-rights, anti-war, pro-choice, anti-death-penalty," etc.

Now try this. Put on your most comfortable clothes: Maybe a pair of 10-year-old sweats or some stretchy shorts, and your favorite T-shirt. Put your favorite song on the stereo and turn it way up. Dance around the house and scream the lyrics out loud. Don't worry if the dog hides under the bed and cries. Hey! There you are!

After that, get your pen and pad out again. Write this on the top. "Human Being." Underneath that, write these descriptive words: "Eat, sleep, defecate, love, make love, reproduce, laugh, cry, wonder about things." There you are.

Isn't it liberating to shed your labels? Imagine all the great ideas you can have now that you're free from the constraints of your self-imposed stereotypes. Imagine how receptive you'll be to the ideas of others now that you're out from under your prejudices. The best thing is, if we're honest, everybody else's list is just like yours.

We've come to wear our labels like badges these days. In truth, I think they serve more as crutches. They allow us to be lazy and to avoid having original thoughts. If you wear the "Feminist" label, for example, write down the last original idea about feminism you had. Write down the last original positive thing you did to advance equality for women -- when I say positive, I mean something that actually got results. Get anything?

Now write down all the things you don't like about anti-feminists. Whoa! Big list. It works with any label. Your labels and the definitions under them are how you decide who you'll actually listen to, and who to avoid at all costs. Strangely, some labels come with different definition lists. The "Christian" label has all kinds of lists, so there are scores of Christians who won't listen to each other, and some of them don't even like to get too close to one another. Most of their lists contain words like, "compassionate, accepting, forgiving." Go figure.

Any label is a division. Look at the apples in the produce department, all separated by labels: Golden Delicious, Braeburn, Pink Lady … With your eyes closed, would you really know one from another? Put them all in one big bin and they're just apples. They all taste pretty good and, without their labels, you can pretty much make a pie out of any of them.

I guess I'm just saying we should all take a break from our labels once in a while so we can actually get something done. Like those apples, without our labels we're just a bunch of fruits in the same box. With that in mind, what is there to get bruised about, really?

Frank Ameduri can't be described by even the strangest labels.s