Don’t borrow trouble from tomorrow

Last year started unexpectedly, with my base being attacked by a barrage of Iranian missiles, and ended with me signing yet, another death certificate listing the primary cause of death as COVID-19. However, between both of those events, I experienced the joy of reuniting with my family, seeing my grandson take his first steps, and waking up Christmas morning and seeing the joy on the faces of my children and grandchildren. I got to hold my wife’s hand a bit more and talk with my children and listen to their hopes, dreams and fears.

This past year, I missed my accustomed vacations and travel; however, the year exceeded my expectations upon reflection. Yes, my heart ached with the families who lost loved ones, who experienced the loss of income, jobs, homes, and such. Yet, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from this past year is that while I cannot always control my circumstances, I can control my responses.

I am inspired by the amazing Alaskan spirit of resiliency in the face of significant adversity from many incredible people. I have also witnessed the effects of anxiety, stress, anger, hopelessness that have accompanied a truly trying year.

Some of my patients worry about everything; they worry about yesterday, worry about today, and tomorrow. Anxiety robs them of sleep as their mind fills with the potential, bad scenarios and how they might handle them. I asked one of these patients, “What can you control? Can you control what someone else might or might not do?” They reluctantly answered no.

I am reminded of some lyrics by the musician Josh Wilson and his song, “Borrow.” He says, “Don’t borrow no trouble from tomorrow. You’ll only double your sorrow; you’ll only worry your mind, so don’t borrow no trouble from tomorrow.” A favorite scripture in the ESV of the New Testament advises, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6).

It is hard to rely on the Lord when our faith and belief in him waivers in the face of our adversity and self-doubt. I have wondered if the Lord hears my prayers, yet I have seen him answer them over the years. But the answers do come, often in unexpected ways. While we wait for answers, we can continue forward in faith, “in everything by prayer and supplication.” In other words, everything by prayer and humility. Humility melts away anxiety and stress as the Spirit of the Lord fills our hearts and eases our minds.

I have often felt that I have taken too much upon myself and not allowed the Lord to work more in my life, to give me the clarity that is there if I but ask for it. Have I prayed, supplicating to my Savior with a heart of thanksgiving, and humbly asked God to help show me a better path? Not always. I have often allowed my knowledge and judgment to lead me without trusting in the Lord.

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to pray more with a heart full of gratitude. I intend to talk with my Savior more about my struggles and weaknesses, allowing him to answer my prayers, rather than relying on my worldly and flawed wisdom. I also want to focus more on the things I can change and improve instead of spending time worrying about the things I can’t control. I want to take advantage of the precious time I have with those dearest to me.

I pray that I, and we, may have the clarity of thought and thanksgiving in our hearts to lead us to true peace and happiness today and not borrow possible sorrow from tomorrow.

Dr. John Boston is a father, husband, grandfather, local physician and Colonel in the Alaska Air National Guard. He believes in Christ and is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.