Knowing my Ability to Mis-communicate, Seeking to Speak Clearly about the Will of God

Do you ever struggle with communication? Do you mis-understand, or mis-interpret what others are trying to say? Or worse, do others sometimes mis-understand the message you are seeking to share? Maybe you feel like you are playing the game of “telephone”, where one person whispers a phrase to a person next to them in a circle. That person shares with the person sitting next to them, until the message makes it all the way around the circle. Very often the final phrase heard does not even resemble what the spoken phrase was originally.

I had one of those “telephone” moments recently. I was in Florida to preach for the 65th anniversary of Our Redeemer Lutheran Church in Jacksonville. While there I had the opportunity to play golf a number of times with my friends. On Monday, October 27, as some others from my group were teeing off on hole number 14, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I try to leave my phone on silent while golfing so that I do not distract others. I looked at my call, which was from Alaska, and moved away and tried to speak softly. An acquaintance from Alaska wanted to talk with me on a pastoral matter.

What do you do when someone needs to talk and you are busy? I could have talked quickly at that moment and possibly missed hearing the real issue. I could have stopped golfing, and required my partners to return me to the clubhouse. Or, I could suggest that we talk in depth at another time. That is what I chose to do. I told the caller, “I’m teeing off on number 14 right now. Could we talk at 4:00 p.m. Alaska time?” I heard a hesitant ok, and we did talk later that evening. One of my golf friends told me, “I hope that wasn’t an important issue with a parishioner, and you just blew him off.” It was not officially a parishioner. And while I did want to listen and give any necessary pastoral care, I thought I had taken into consideration both my golf partners and also the person calling. That’s what I thought . . . at least.

So, when 8:00 p.m. Florida time, and 4:00 p.m. Alaska time rolled around, the phone did ring and we did talk. However, what I had spoken into my telephone while golfing, was not what hit the ear of the person calling me. He thought I said, not “I’m teeing off”, but rather “I’m teed off!” He had wondered what was going on, but was still willing to wait and talk in about 5 hours. After hearing his understanding of what I said, I apologized for the mis-communication. I explained what I was trying to do. We did ultimately have a fruitful conversation.

This is not the only time I have had mis-communications. Such mis-understandings have happened with family, happened at church, and happened with friends. So, if someone does not understand, I try to apologize, and I try to do a better job of sharing more clearly in the future. One way to communicate well is to repeat over and over again, in different ways, the same thought. I once heard that, in order for people to hear what you are saying, a speaker needs to repeat their point 3 times. Now I’m told, in the social media era, it takes at least 7 repetitions to get a point across.

In Confirmation Class at Our Redeemer Lutheran Church in Chugiak, Alaska, on Sunday afternoon, November 2, we studied about the Lord’s Prayer, and the 3rd Petition, or request, of that prayer, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10) So, what IS the will of God? We used repetition. We looked at 4 Bible verses.

We read Ezekiel 18:23 “Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?” We also considered John 6:40 “For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day." Then we looked at God’s word in 1 Timothy 2:4 “[God] . . . desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” Finally, the students discussed God’s will by looking at 1 Thessalonians 4:3 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification” Do you hear a theme? God desires the eternal salvation of the people of this world. God repeats again and again that He loves us and desires to save us. However, even our Lord is often misunderstood. That is why the memory verse for class that day was John 3:16-17. “16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” There are MANY of verses in Scripture where God plainly communicates His love and His desire to give us eternal life through faith in His Son, Jesus, the Christ.

I have also been taught that, more important to communication than speaking, is listening. It is important to listen to others and understand what they hear when we speak. That is why I often repeat a point. I am convinced that is why God teaches us again and again about His love.

So, the confirmation students were asked a question, which we should ask ourselves. “What is the good and gracious will of God?” Our Lord tells of His love in Jesus again and again. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” Did you hear His message? His heart?