The Legend of the Grotto Lunker

As the Greater Palmer Chamber of Commerce (GPCC) makes ready for the annual Colony Days, they also warn of the return of the Grotto Lurker.

What is the Grotto Lurker? The GPCC has put out the following, explaining the legend of the Grotto Lurker.

“...Many still remember the days so many years ago when a dragon-like creature emerged from its icy mountain cave in Hatcher Pass. For those unfamiliar with the legend- let me fill you in. When the great ice fields moved through the Matanuska Valley, tens of millions of years ago, they left more than gravel deposits. They moved huge mounds of earth and carved our valley from ancient stone. In that time so long ago, a creature roamed the valley, a creature not found anywhere else on earth...the Grotto Lunker. As the ice fields moved through, the Grotto-Lunkers were forced into mountain caves where they were trapped by advancing glacial ice.

With the passage of time, the ice covering the caves became thin on the longest day of the year, and the Grottos were able to break through. The recent volcanic activity has once again woken the Grotto-Lunkers they will try to free themselves for the Colony Days celebration, near the longest day of the year. Legend has it that the Grotto-Lunker is afraid of huge gatherings of fun people, so the Colony Days festival was created to drive them back to their caves.”

This year marks the return of the Grotto-Lunker, who appears to have been in hibernation since 2009, when the mean-spirited creatures who live to spoil fun — tried to crash that year’s Colony Days.

“We saw quite a few of them, actually,” said Jillyan Webb, Executive Director for the GPCC, at the time. “There were a couple of mean ones in the parade. They didn’t crash Colony Days, but it was a close call.”

Kelley Shoemake, current Executive Director of the GPCC, is confident that this year’s events will create such an atmosphere of fun that no Lunker dare show his face. But just in case, she says to be aware for the mythical creature, described as a “dragon with long fangs and moose antlers.”

“Fun keeps him away, and we’re sure that Colony Days will drive him back to his cave.”